Five ways to good mental wellbeing – through a digital lens

Dr Richard Graham is a Consultant Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist and a member of the Yubo Safety Board. He has worked in digital health and online safety for more than a decade and is recognized as a digital health pioneer. He is Clinical Director of stem4, the UK’s leading digital mental health charity for children and young people, a member of the UK Council for Internet Safety and Ofcom’s Making Sense of Media Advisory Panel, and Online Harms Lead for the Child and Adolescent Faculty of the Royal College of Psychiatrists.

In our 2023 blog about The state of online safety, we looked briefly at the impact of the digital world on young people’s wellbeing. In support of various mental health awareness campaigns around the world that took place in May, we’ve taken a deeper dive into this topic, using the established ‘Five ways to good mental wellbeing’ framework and with insights from Yubo Safety Board member Dr Richard Graham. We hope these tips will help the Yubo community all year round. 


More than 80 million people around the world use Yubo, including many young people, so it’s a great place to make new friends and build a support network. As Richard says, “Connecting with others and creating a sense of belonging is an important goal in a teenager’s development. Nowadays, this often happens online as young people’s social lives are increasingly embedded in digital technology.”


To promote good mental health, social platforms should be inclusive and respectful and users should be able to control what they see and do. Unlike many other apps and websites, what happens on Yubo isn’t decided by algorithms based on users’ previous engagement and there isn’t a focus on influencers and ‘likes’. There is also less pressure for members of the Yubo community to look or portray themselves a certain way or to ‘perform’ for an audience.

“For young people, it’s important they feel able to affect what’s going on around them,” comments Richard. “If your time online feels like it’s being controlled by algorithms or professional content creators, you start to feel powerless. But if you’re in control and you’re building strong friendships, digital spaces can have a very positive impact. You can be yourself.”

When you work out, your body releases ‘feel good’ hormones. In fact, regular physical activity is known to lower stress, increase self-esteem, reduce the risk of depression, improve sleep and help with other mental health conditions. 

With the theme of the UK’s Mental Health Awareness Week 2024 being ‘Moving more for our mental health’, Richard encourages young people to strike a balance between the time they spend online and any physical activities they enjoy.

“Seize every opportunity to move,” he says. “Even the shortest bursts of activity are very powerful for your physical and mental wellbeing and, as your energy levels increase, you can increase the amount of exercise you do.”

But it’s also interesting to look at the term ‘active’ in relation to the online world. Active users of social media are those who regularly share, comment and post whereas passive users simply follow people, ‘like’ posts and read information online.

“On Yubo, you can take an active role in livestreams, where you connect with a small group of friends, rather than passively ‘liking’ posts,” notes Richard. “And with less of a focus on influencers, you can feel more confident about creating and connecting and not worry about being judged.”

The main skill that young people need to maintain healthy digital spaces is ‘critical thinking’ – in other words, having the ability to question and evaluate what they see online. 

This includes knowing how to identify disinformation and misinformation and recognising predatory and exploitative behavior online. One question that is always worth asking, is why you might want to believe something is true. Other skills include knowing how to report something and being able to use in-app tools to stay safer. 

With the increase in the use of Generative AI tools, such as ChatGPT and Midjourney, young people must also understand that even the most realistic digital content might not be real (e.g. deep fakes) and that inappropriate content and behavior, such as bullying, could be the result of AI chatbots. 

“There are clear risks that [Generative AI] technology could be used by bad actors, or inadvertently cause harm or society-wide disruptions at the cost of children’s wellbeing and future prospects,” said a recent Unicef article, whilst Thorn notes that the shift to Generative AI makes the call for ‘safety by design’ even more urgent.

As the Clinical Director of stem4, the UK’s leading digital mental health charity for children and young people, Richard helps professionals working in healthcare, social care and the youth sector to reduce the impact of online harms through ‘Media Literacy and Mental Health’ webinars.

“One of the things everyone needs to understand is where online risks might become harms in terms of young people’s mental health,” he comments. “What happens when someone is bullied or sexually exploited online? What’s the impact of websites that promote self-harm or eating disorders? How might the views of celebrities and other influencers affect someone? It’s essential that young people develop strong media literacy and critical thinking skills so they can successfully navigate their digital spaces.”

Richard notes that many young people want one person – perhaps a parent or teacher – who can help them make sense of what’s going on and support them to become more resilient. In many cases, it will be friends that young people turn to first. As a study by the University of East Anglia shows, digital resilience needs to be a “collective endeavour” that involves the young person, their family and their school, as well as policymakers, governments and technology companies.

“Giving to others can really improve your own mental health but it doesn’t have to be like a gift,” says Richard. 

You could give your time or attention to someone who feels lonely, share a playlist that you think someone might enjoy, or do some chores at home. Or you could simply commit to prioritising kindness and thoughtfulness online. 

Here at Yubo, we have zero tolerance for bullying, hate speech and other harmful behaviors and we encourage every member of our community to respect their peers. It’s important that young people consider the impact of their actions – for example, if you take a photo of someone and share it online without their permission, how might it make that person feel?

With Nominet’s Digital Youth Index identifying the rise in ‘conscious connectors’, Richard also notes that one of the ways Yubo users can support their peers is by not pressuring them to be online all the time. As he says, “Some people need to be careful about the amount of data they use – perhaps because they have a limited data plan or they share their device with other family members. It’s important to respect this.” 


Yubo is also a safe space for young people to meet like-minded people, get involved in the causes they care about, such as climate change and systemic racism, and have their voices heard. It’s easy to add a hashtag or emoji to your Yubo profile to show your support for the causes that matter to you and we often run campaigns in support of activists, charities and NGOs.

Being aware of your own thoughts and feelings and paying attention to the world around you can help you to enjoy life more. So, it’s important to take regular time out from digital devices and, ideally, to spend time in green and blue spaces, which can really boost your mental health.

The good news is that young people understand how social media might affect their mental health. Indeed, a study by Ofcom shows that they choose to take regular breaks from their favorite apps (or even delete them) and often seek out online content and services to improve their mood and manage any feelings of anxiety. 

“Everything and everyone went online during the COVID-19 pandemic – short form video content was particularly popular and became a substitute for social connections,” adds Richard. “It took a while for young people to get out of their lockdown habits but it’s reassuring that they are now setting boundaries between their digital spaces and what they need or want to do offline.” 

To help you incorporate the five ways to good mental wellbeing in your daily life, how about starting with these five simple challenges?

1. Join a club, team or online community where you can meet new people

2. Block out 30 minutes a day to go for a walk, run or bike ride

3. Learn a little about Generative AI (you might find this BBC article helpful)

4. Check in with a friend (online or IRL) to see how they’re doing 

5. Put your devices down at least an hour before you go to bed

Check out stem4's apps for young people, such as Move Mood, which helps you to set healthy goals, and stem4’s resources for parents and carers.

Stay fresh and safe: Gen Z tips for navigating the social media jungle

Student activism: Ways to get involved in your community

Yubo Basics - Wellbeing & Screen Time

At Yubo, we love smartphones as much as the next person. They allow us to connect with new people, unwind with our friends, share memories, and have a laugh or a heart-to-heart. They facilitate our interactions with the world and help us learn new things. However, it is essential to be thoughtful about how and when we use our devices.

Scrolling mindlessly and checking notifications instantly can have detrimental effects on wellbeing. For some, spending too much time online triggers feelings of isolation or inferiority because they are comparing themselves to others, such as influencers. 

Young people are most vulnerable to the downsides of this kind of screen time because they are still growing and developing, compared to adults, and need support to develop well. in earlier stages of development, compared to adults. This is why promoting healthy and sustainable habits around using devices is of utmost importance for us at Yubo.

For your own wellbeing, you could ask yourself questions about how you use social media, such as:

how much (or long) am I scrolling? How does it make me feel? 

Do the people I interact with online make me feel good? 

Do I notice when a conversation is going south, and do I take care of myself (or leave) when I notice that? 

Should I turn off some of my notifications or think about ignoring them? 

Do I give myself time to do other things that are meaningful to me or make me feel good? 

If your relationship to devices is having downsides, like making you constantly check for notifications or causing you to miss deadlines, it can be helpful to take stoch of whether  managing your habits with devices might be beneficial for you. 

Below are tips on how you can adjust your smartphone settings to explore a different approach to using your devices for improved wellbeing.

Balancing social media and your day-to-day IRL

To proactively engage with this issue, we have created a video with a brief overview of tools that can help you manage your social media use and strike the right balance between your offline activities and social media use each day. We encourage you to take some breaksfrom on-screen time to read a book, go for a walk, or just take a pause to close your eyes and relax. Use your device to make plans with friends and engage without screens as much as you use your device to chat with friends online.

If you’re using an iOS device, go to your Settings, click on Screen Time and ****turn it on. In the menu, you then will be able to turn on Downtime. Downtime ensures that during your scheduled hours you will only be getting phone calls as well as notifications from the apps you hand-picked – no other distractions. You can also limit your time spent on individual apps. This is also accessible through the same part of the Settings menu. Click on Screen Time, then choose App Limits and enable them. You could designate a custom amount of time for every individual app, so make sure to try using this tool if your screen usage in certain apps seems a little excessive. If your time on an app is coming to an end, your device will send you a reminder and gray out the app until the next day.

If you’re using an Android device, go to your Settings, click on Digital Wellbeing and Parental Controls, then tap on Focus mode and toggle on the switch to activate it. This mode will allow you to set your notification-free time from selected apps, and the apps themselves will be grayed out for the time being. When trying to access your grayed-out apps in Focus mode, you will get a notification reminding you that app use is currently paused. You can also control the time spent on individual apps and designate the amount of time a day that you are allowed to use them for. So go set your Yubo timer to whatever you feel would be the most beneficial to you – we promise we won’t mind!

We would also like to share some general tips on how to prevent your relationship with your device from becoming a problem:

Use your phone purposefully, not habitually. Think about when (and how often) you pick up your device and why. Consider reducing the number of times you browse through an app without any purpose. Entertainment can certainly be a purpose, but you probaby have other purposes and other things you want to do with your time. You might be interested in checking out our blog post on how to use social media mindfully. If you find that you pick up your device a lot without any particular reason, think about a new behavior you might want to adopt in place of checking your phone – like a short breathing exercise, a walk, or helping someone out with something.

…but it’s fine to scroll too. If cutting out scrolling completely does not sound realistic, one of the best ways to manage it is to think about how you could control it. If you go on your device every time you have a free second, think about setting aside a specific amount of time when you allow yourself to scroll through all your favorite social media guilt-free. Mindful can be fun; it’s just not reflexive or automatic. You are planning what you can do with YOUR time.

NotificatiONs, notificatiOFFs. Go through all the apps that send you push-notifications and make a conscious decision about which ones you can go without. This can be freeing. It helps people break the habit of checking their phone every time their screen lights up and feel more in control of their device, rather than the other way around.

Designate “device-free” times or zones. You can make time for activities and hobbies that don’t require any device use at all, such as cooking, swimming, or reading. If you can, plan device-free activities with friends, so you can spen time with them without the distraction. You can boost your wellbeing by learning something, or by giving to others, by cooking them a meal or creating something they would value, like a playlist. Use iOS and Android tools suggested above to help you change your settings. Alternatively, you can have designated “device-free zones” in your house, such as your kitchen or bathroom. 

In conclusion: Don't hesitate to take a break from your device and enjoy life without screens. Yubo will still be there after that for you to make new friends.

Yubo general tips on how to prevent your relationship with your phone from becoming toxic. Some how-to tips on managing your screen time for Yubo on iOS & Android devices. As well as some useful Yubo tips on how to have a healthy screen time balance in your life.

How To Improve Your Wellbeing Online

Graduation season is upon us. Whether you’re graduating college, university, or high school, it can be pretty daunting thinking about what comes next. And once you make your decision of what path you’d like to take, it can be tricky handling such a change. That uncertainty you may feel now, and every step of the way in the future, is normal. We understand how you may be feeling about the future, so, let’s break that down.

You’ve just graduated, and it’s time to face the next chapter of your life. But with that comes the uncertainty of what exactly that chapter entails. Do you continue your education, do you start your life in the real world, or do you just relax, enjoy the summer, and make the big decisions later? Maybe you chose to move to a new city or state. Are you considering a gap year to explore new things? The possibilities are endless, and it can be overwhelming to make such an important decision. It's important to remember that whatever choice you make, it's okay to feel uncertain. Change is never easy, and it's natural to question your choices and wonder if you're doing the right thing.

But the truth is, there’s no right or wrong path to take after graduation. It’s important to remember that the decisions you make now aren’t set in stone. You can always change your mind and pursue a different path down the road. So, take your time, do your research, and make the decision that feels right for you.

How do you cope with the uncertainty of post-grad life? The key is to set realistic goals and create a plan for achieving them. This can help you feel more in control of your future and give you a sense of purpose. Whether your goals are related to your career, personal life, or hobbies and interests, make sure they are specific, measurable, and achievable. Break them down into smaller steps and set deadlines to keep yourself on track. Focus on the little wins, and you’ll be on the right path. 

How to deal with loneliness post-graduation?

Another challenge of post-grad life is the loneliness that can come with it. You may find yourself feeling disconnected from your peers, missing your friends and family, or struggling to make new connections in a new place. This is completely normal, and it's important to remember that you're not alone in feeling this way. But the good news is, there are steps you can take to cope with these feelings and make the most of your post-grad life.

One of the first things you can do is to actively seek out new connections. This may be easier said than done, especially if you're an introvert or feel shy in new situations. But remember, you're not the only one feeling this way. There are likely many other post-graduates in your area who are looking to make new friends and connections as well. Consider joining a local club or group that interests you, attending social events, or even reaching out to someone you admire on social media to strike up a conversation.

Another way to combat loneliness is to stay engaged in activities that bring you joy. This could be anything from joining a sports team to volunteering at a local charity or attending cultural events. Not only will you get to engage in activities that you enjoy, but you'll also have the opportunity to meet new people who share your interests. And who knows, you may even meet someone who becomes a lifelong friend!

It's also important to be open to new experiences and try new things. This can be difficult, especially if you're used to sticking to your comfort zone. But stepping outside of your comfort zone can be a great way to meet new people and expand your interests. Whether it's trying a new hobby or taking a class in something you've always been interested in, be open to new experiences and don't be afraid to take risks.

Of course, sometimes, it can be difficult to make new connections, even when you're putting in effort. In these situations, it's important to remember that it's okay to feel lonely. You're going through a major life transition, and it's natural to feel a sense of loss or grief for the social connections you had in the past. Be gentle with yourself and take time to reflect on your feelings. Sometimes, simply acknowledging and accepting your emotions can be a powerful step towards feeling better.

If you're really struggling with feelings of loneliness or isolation, don't hesitate to seek out professional help. Many post-graduates experience mental health issues like anxiety or depression during this transition period, and it's important to get the help you need if you're struggling. Consider reaching out to a therapist, counsellor, or support group to talk through your feelings and get the support you need.

Remember, you're not alone in feeling this way, and with time and effort, you can build a fulfilling and meaningful life beyond graduation.

Post-Grad Dilemmas

In today's digital age, presenting yourself online has become just as important as presenting yourself in person. With the widespread use of social media platforms, online job applications, and virtual meetings, it is crucial to understand the differences between the two.

Firstly, when presenting yourself online, it is important to pay attention to your digital presence and footprint. This includes the content that you might post on social media, as well as the way you communicate through emails and messaging apps. You might have heard stories about people who left unkind or insensitive comments when they were younger that ended up costing them a job later in life. With the significant role the internet plays in modern society, this is entirely possible and could happen to anyone. Potential employers and business partners often do research on individuals before meeting them, and a negative online presence can harm one's chances of being hired or securing partnerships or collaborations. Because of this, it is crucial to maintain a positive online presence by posting appropriate and non-offensive content. However, this is not only about your future employment. The internet has become a great way to make new friends, so having a positive internet presence is important. Whether you realize it or not, you are representing yourself constantly, even when you are not physically present. 

On the flip side, some of the biggest differences when presenting yourself in person involves physical appearance, body language, and verbal communication. In a face-to-face interaction, first impressions are often formed within the first few seconds of meeting someone. It is important to be aware of your body language, as these nonverbal cues can convey a lot about your personality and intentions. Additionally, verbal communication plays a crucial role in presenting yourself in person. It is important to speak clearly and confidently while also being aware of the tone and volume of your voice – something you don't have to worry about when communicating or sharing content online.

You have more control over your online presence than your in-person presence. If you are shy or somewhat introverted, or maybe even have social anxiety, you likely feel safer and more confident online. This is a great reason to take your internet presence more seriously. It can help you break the ice with in-person interactions and conversations.

Another difference between presenting yourself online versus in person is the level of control you have over the presentation. When presenting yourself online, you have more control over the content you choose to share and how you present yourself. You can carefully curate your online presence, choosing what to share and what to keep private. However, in a face-to-face interaction, people have less control over how they are perceived. Your physical appearance, body language, and verbal communication are all subject to interpretation and can be influenced by factors outside of your control, such as the environment or the other person's mood. While it might sound nice to have total control over your online presence, life is not meant to be controlled. Life can be messy, but that also makes it exciting and should be embraced. Hopefully, you can learn to laugh about how you got all properly dressed for a hangout, but just before you arrived, the sprinklers turned on and you're soaking wet and have mascara running down your face. Pretty funny when you think about it.

Of course, we can't forget to mention that presenting yourself online allows for a wider audience and a greater reach. Social media platforms and online networking events provide opportunities to connect with other people from all over the world. This can lead to exciting collaborations and opportunities. However, it is important to be aware of the potential for misunderstandings and miscommunication when interacting with individuals from different cultural backgrounds or when using language translation tools.

In contrast, presenting yourself in person can often allow for a deeper level of connection and intimacy. Face-to-face interactions provide opportunities for individuals to build trust and establish rapport with others. This is particularly important in business settings, where personal relationships and trust are often key factors. Additionally, in-person interactions can provide a more holistic view of a person, allowing individuals to see beyond their online persona and get a better sense of their personality and values.

Finally, presenting yourself online versus in person can have different implications for authenticity. Online, individuals have the ability to present a curated version of themselves, highlighting their best qualities and achievements while hiding their flaws and imperfections. While this can be useful in certain contexts, it can also lead to a lack of authenticity and a sense of disconnection between one's online persona and their true self. Conversely, presenting yourself in person requires a higher degree of authenticity, as it is more difficult to hide flaws or put on a false persona in face-to-face interactions.

Presenting yourself online and in person each have their own unique set of challenges and benefits. While online interactions offer greater control and wider reach, face-to-face interactions provide opportunities for deeper connections and authenticity. It is important to be aware of these differences and to tailor your presentation to the specific context and audience. Ultimately, the key to successfully presenting yourself, whether online or in person, is to be authentic, professional, and aware of the impression you are making on others.

You vs. Your Online Self

Social media, while revolutionary, can also be a lot. On one hand, it offers a community and puts the world at our fingertips, but it can quickly become overwhelming. For most of us, it’s now an integral part of our lives, enabling us to connect with friends and family, stay updated on news and events, and share our thoughts, experiences, and creativity. However, social media can also be a source of stress, anxiety, and negativity. With endless posts, notifications, and messages it can take a toll on our mental health. Let’s explore some ways in which you can make your social media feeds a more comfortable space for you.

One of the easiest ways to make social media a more comfortable space for you is by limiting the amount of time you spend on it. With so much content being posted every minute, it's easy to get caught up in the scroll and lose track of time. In a recent study, it was found that 38.16% of teenagers spend more than 8 hours daily on social media. Spending too much time on social media can be detrimental to your mental health, leading to feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. To avoid this, try setting a daily time limit for social media usage and sticking to it. You can use apps like Screen Time to monitor your usage and help you stay on track.

Join Communities That Match Your Interests:

Another way to make social media more comfortable for you is by joining communities that match your interests. Whether it's a group of people who share the same hobbies or a community focused on mental health and well-being, finding like-minded individuals can provide a sense of belonging and support. These groups can also be a source of positivity and inspiration, with members sharing helpful tips and advice on how to navigate life's challenges. Whether you find your people in Yubo Lives, Reddit subreddits or other various online forums, there’s a community for you. 

One of the downsides of social media is that it can expose us to content that we don't want to see, such as negative news stories or offensive posts from friends or family. To make social media more comfortable for you, consider censoring things that you don't want to see. Most social media platforms, like Yubo, have a feature that allows you to mute or block certain users or keywords, which can help reduce the amount of negative content you come across. And censoring doesn’t need to be as straightforward as blogging, but can also just include unfollowing creators or even friends whose interests don’t align with your own.

How To Mute Words and Report on Yubo

Taking regular breaks from social media can also help make it a more comfortable space for you. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or stressed out by the constant stream of posts and notifications, take some time away from social media to recharge and refocus. This could be a short break during the day, such as a 15-minute walk outside, or a longer break, such as a weekend without any social media use. During your break, try engaging in activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as reading a book, listening to music, or spending time with loved ones.

Finally, one of the best ways to make social media a more comfortable space for you is by practicing mindful social media use. This means being intentional about the time you spend on social media and how you engage with it. Before logging on, take a moment to check in with yourself and ask if you're in the right headspace to consume social media content. If not, consider taking a break or engaging in a different activity. When using social media, try to focus on positive and uplifting content, and avoid engaging with posts or comments that are negative or triggering. Additionally, be mindful of your own social media habits, and try to avoid posting content that could be harmful or hurtful to others.

Social media can be a powerful tool for connection and community, but it can also be a source of negativity. By following these tips, you can make social media a more comfortable space for you. Limit your time on social media, join communities that match your interests, censor things you don’t want to see, take breaks, and practice mindful social media use. These strategies can help you create a more positive social media experience that aligns with your values and supports your mental health and well-being. Don’t force yourself to use social media how you think it should be used, rather, use social media in the best way that works for you. 

Social media, while revolutionary, can also be a lot. On one hand it offers a community and puts the world at our fingertips. However, social media can also be a source of stress, anxiety, and negativity. With endless posts, notifications, and messages it can take a toll on our mental health. Let’s explore some ways in which you can make your social media feeds a more comfortable space for you.

How To Use Social Media for YOU

We spend a lot of time online, whether it is scrolling, watching, reading, commenting, or creating, we experience a lot of interactions. We both witness interactions between others and often engage in an online interaction ourselves. While most of the time being online is a pleasant experience, it is still possible to have a negative encounter every now and then. 

In fact, some online interactions and habits can actually be toxic in nature and can range from minor annoyances to genuinely stressful or harmful situations. Gen Z grew up with large amounts of exposure to the fast-changing and continually new internet landscape. Further, social media became synonymous with Gen Z when speaking about the internet – emphasizing the importance of this topic.

What are the damages of toxic online behaviors?

We’re just going to dive right into this difficult topic, so here we go. Toxic online behaviors and habits range greatly in severity and how they affect each individual. The most common negative effects of these behaviors are:

Increased anxiety and depression. The internet is often a place where people speak without thinking. They speak a little too freely and often do not connect the username they are speaking harshly towards to the human behind it. The internet is a big place, loaded with information and opinions that can come at you from every angle. It can be overwhelming and often conflicting with your own personal beliefs. A combination of these realities can lead individuals to have feelings of shame, embarrassment, low self-esteem, anger, sadness, pessimism, and more. These negative experiences and feelings can lead to increased levels of anxiety and depression, which may have a long-term impact on one’s mental wellbeing.

Social isolation. Despite social media being a fantastic place to connect with others and socialize with people of similar interests,  online toxic behaviors from others or even your own habits (which we will discuss later) can increase the feeling of isolation. Sometimes you might wonder, “am I the only one out there?” and while the answer is absolutely, “no,” it might not feel like that. Again, due to the vastness of social media, individuals might find themselves in virtual places that conflict with their beliefs or identity, leading them to feel ostracized.

Negative body image. Social media has the tendency to promote unrealistic beauty standards across the board. Filters and photoshopping apps have also made this issue much more apparent, and images people post are curated to highlight their best looks. Seeing others constantly looking great can negatively affect our image of ourselves.

Addiction to social media. Many platforms build their apps around keeping users engaged, typically through making the app experience extremely fun and rewarding. Interacting with these apps can get our brain to release positive chemicals, known as endorphins, that make us want to keep coming back for more. Spending excessive amounts of time online can lead to addiction, which can have a serious negative impact on your quality of life.

Trauma. Worst case scenario, online experiences can be traumatic. While this is less common, it is just as real. Events like cyberbullying, doxxing, threats, and all hateful acts can cause lasting emotional and mental harm.

There are obvious behaviors like cyberbullying, doxxing, trolling, grooming, harassment, and stalking, which are never, ever okay. If you do notice any of these behaviors, please report them through the appropriate app features and even to your local law enforcement if needed. It is everyone's responsibility to keep the internet a safe place.

Here are some less-obvious toxic habits that you might encounter online:

Gaslighting. This is the act of lying to someone in order to convince them of a false truth. They begin to question their own sanity and perception of reality. While this might sound fun to do to your friends, it is a toxic behavior that can have serious implications. There is such a high volume of information and voices on the internet that it can be hard to decipher the truth. By promoting a false truth, you are also helping spread misinformation. You can combat gaslighting and misinformation by doing your own research and sometimes unplugging from the slew of other opinions to decide on your own.

Cancel culture. Cancel culture is a relatively new movement that has been commonly used on celebrities and corporations. Cancel culture is when people publicly shame or boycott an individual or brand for their actions or opinions. While you don’t need to agree and be passive about everything, cancel culture can be intense and leaves no room for learning or improvement through conversation.

Doom scrolling. A common habit social media users have is doom scrolling. The world is full of issues and, thanks to the internet, we can see all the issues at the same time all in one place. This can obviously lead to feelings of dread or “doom,” as the name suggests. It is easy to think the world is ending when every news article or post is about something horrible. Of course, acknowledging the harsh realities of the world is necessary to improve it, but if you only look at negative information, it can give you a pessimistic outlook on the world and heighten your anxiety. Remember, behind every storm sits a calm, blue sky.

Comparison. Finally, the most common toxic behavior we are all guilty of: comparing ourselves to others. It is natural to compare ourselves to others. However, it is never fair and often leaves us feeling bad about ourselves. Once you add the layer of social media, a place where people post highlights of their life, it can make your life feel inferior. When you look through someone's social media, you might get the impression that their life is perfect and awesome, which can lead to feelings of jealousy or a tainted perspective of your own life. 

If it's one thing we hope you take away from this blog, it's that you are now more aware of some of the toxic behaviors or risks of spending too much time online. We hope this will help you to be more mindful of how these aspects of your online experience might affect yourself and others. As always, if you are dealing with any of these, we recommend you speak to someone you trust – whether that is a parent or other family member, teacher, counselor, or friend. At Yubo, we’re also here for you too. 

We spend a lot of time online, whether it is scrolling, watching, reading, commenting, or creating, we experience a lot of interactions. We both witness interactions between others and often engage in an online interaction ourselves. While most of the time being online is a pleasant experience, it is still possible to have a negative encounter every now and then.

Avoiding Online Toxic Habits

In grade school, Valentine’s Day was about pretty pink decorations, giving out cards and candy, coloring in hearts, and discovering secret crushes. But now that you’re a few years older, you might have realized that the kind of display of love brought upon by this day, is overtly commercialized and not for you. We can understand why this could be enough to make you sick, but rather than letting baby cupid take you down, why don’t you instead celebrate yourself. Put selfcare first and take yourself on a date this Valentine’s Day.

You may be thinking: “Okay, but what can I even do?” Romanticize your life, treat yourself to something nice, put yourself first, and most importantly, don’t worry about what others think. Yes, going out by yourself can be scary or nerve-wracking for some, but you can’t let it stop you from enjoying yourself. So here’s a list of ideas of what you can do: 

What’s so special about going out to eat alone? You get to focus on yourself rather than those around you. This includes eating at your own pace, spending the time as you wish to spend it, not having to share dessert, and all with great company guaranteed.  In fact, dining alone can even increase your entire sensory experience of the dinner. 

Movies are far less intimidating to try out alone than restaurants. You’re in a dark room, with other individuals sparsely seated around you all looking at the screen. So, head to your local theater, get your favorite snacks and maybe an ICEE, and go get comfy. It doesn’t matter the type of movie you see, as long as you’re excited to see it. 

Prefer binging to movie theater-watching? No problem! Enjoy a streaming date at home. Prepare your bed or your couch with your favorite blankets, pillows, snacks, drinks, fuzzy socks and your go-to water bottle (of course). The key here is to really focus on what will make you happy. For extra comfort, look into how to make your space a bit more Hygge too. 

Like Miley Cyrus, go buy yourself some flowers. Flowers are not only beautiful, but they can have real benefits, such as increasing your mood, helping you relax, and even helping you feel better throughout the day. And they smell good too. Whether it’s roses, tulips, or dandelions you pick for yourself, just ensure it’s flowers you’ll enjoy having in your home and that will bring you joy. 

To clarify, we’re not talking about throwing some pasta in boiling water and calling it a day. No, we mean to get into your Master Chef state of mind and try out cooking something fun! Make sure to set up a nice candlelight dinner with your finest cutlery. This dinner is about you and forming a better relationship with your food. 

Take yourself out shopping this Valentine’s Day! Give yourself a budget beforehand (for safety purposes) and then go to your favorite store and indulge. If you start feeling guilty for spending money on yourself, just remind yourself that you deserve to treat yourself and lean into the process. Take your time walking around the stores, trying stuff on if applicable, and contemplating whether to make the purchase on your own terms and your own time. 

Who doesn’t love a creativity session? Channel your inner child, get some paint, markers, crayons, etc. and have an arts and crafts day! You can get some inspiration of what to create from your favorite social media sites, or check out this fabulous article on DIY crafts! All that matters is that you have fun! Included in arts and crafts is scrapbooking. Print out some of your favorite photos (or create a digital scrapbook) and relive those memories with happiness as you figure out the best way to display them. 

Make a List of Activities You’d Like to do

Make a list of all activities you’d be interested in trying out (and yes, trying out solo). Even after Valentine’s Day, you can refer to this list. Want to make it a bit more interesting? Get out some supplies and make a unique, cute jar to keep slips of papers with your ideas written on inside. Anytime you’re interested in taking yourself on a date, you can just pull out a piece of paper! Here are some suggestions to get you started: Go to a coffee shop, take a relaxing bath, head to a bookstore, visit a museum, go on a hike, have a spa day, bake your favorite treats, try a new restaurant, learn how to (insert activity here), write a letter to yourself. 

And lastly, don’t forget to love yourself. The true key to everything here is just to love and appreciate yourself. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the Valentine’s Day craze or worry about what others are doing or what they may think of you. The only opinion that truly matters is your own. So, go out and take yourself on a date this Valentine’s Day! 

Take Yourself On A Date This Valentine's Day

It’s never easy when a friendship ends. Whether you decided to end it because it’s a relationship that’s no longer positive, there was a relationship-ending event, or it was a totally mutual and natural decision to break up – it still hurts. Losing a friend is not talked about nearly as much as romantic breakups are, but it can hurt just as much – if not more – than a romantic breakup. Friends are people you go on adventures with, hang out with constantly, laugh with, cry with, and share priceless moments with. Losing that can be pretty tough, even if it came to a natural end. It’s completely normal to feel down bad.

Here are some tips on how to help you get through your loss, move past it, and hopefully, come to peace with it.

Exercise. It may sound ridiculous, but if you are not currently active, adding some grit and sweat to your day will make a huge difference. After losing a friend, it’s likely you're feeling down on yourself and maybe even experiencing some symptoms of depression. Exercise is not a complete cure, but it will definitely help you see the light at the end of the tunnel and get those positive endorphins flowing. It's biological. Now, exercise can take many different forms, so you’re not forced to lift weights in a sweaty commercial gym (unless you want to). Playing sports, going on walks, running, even yoga, are all forms of exercise that will help lighten your mood. Exercise is a simple and easy starting point.

Acknowledge your situation. You might think, my situation is obvious, I lost a close friendship. Stating the obvious might technically be acknowledgement, but not in the full sense of the word. Yes, you lost a friend, but how does that affect you now? Are you sad? Or are you feeling relieved? Do you miss them or wish you could take things back? These are important questions that will help you understand your emotional state and process the feelings you’re having so you can heal. By understanding your emotional state, or simply, how your friendship breakup is sitting with you, you have more information to take the right steps forward.

Be Sad. This may sound counter intuitive, but feeling sad can actually be a really positive thing. What you just went through is tough, really tough. You lost a valid connection with another human being and all the history you share with them may even seem tainted. Repressing emotions is never a good thing and often only buries those feelings which eventually will appear later on or makes those feelings worse. Losing a friend is sad, and those feelings you have are valid. So take the time you need to feel sad.

Change it up. You just lost something, even though a friend is not a physical thing. Your life might feel like there is now a void or empty space. You might still be falling into old habits like going to send them a meme or call them when you are bored. Changing your life up can help to wipe away old habits and let you start fresh. You will be more conscious of what you are doing and hopefully, get a little creative with your time. Another aspect of losing a friend that changing it up really helps with is if your ex-friend was a part of the same friend group. This might be uncomfortable for everyone in that friend group, especially you. Try another friend group or even try making some new friends. This is not about replacing what you lost, but rather taking another useful step towards moving on. 

Reflect on your friendship. This may be a harder step for some, especially if you were in a friendship that  turned from sweet to sour. Many friendships end because of toxic or negative actions, whether they were one-sided or mutual. The root of the toxic events can often be passed over, making this breakup confusing or feel out of the blue. It’s important to identify what you took issue with in the friendship. Whether they are actions or values, you don’t need to agree with them. By identifying what went wrong, you will be able to determine potential red flags (or green flags) in future friendships. 

These are just some tips that might help you ease the grief of your loss. Remember, it takes time. It would be unfair to expect yourself to quickly and easily move on from losing a friend, even if they weren’t your bestie.

Here are some common reasons that friendships end:

If you are reading this blog post because you are in the wake of a friendship breakup or because one of your friends is currently going through one, we are sorry. It will get better. People change as life goes on and so do friendships. One last thing, never let losing a friend negatively impact your self worth. You might have negative thoughts running through your head like, “I wasn’t good enough,” that was never the case. Your feelings are valid and you deserve good friends. Even if it doesn’t seem like it now, your life will be full of opportunities to make many friends in the future – and maybe those friends will be even better suited to you than your last ones.

Tips for a Friendship Break Up

It’s the New Year. And just as every New Year has started, everyone is thinking about their 2023 resolutions. In typical fashion, even though they had an entire year to work on these resolutions prior, no one did. So, instead, they say this will be my year and commit a few weeks of 2023 to these goals. After all, New Year, New Me. But, should it be? You’ve gotten this far on being you, so why change that? Instead focus on small changes to create a better life, rather than a new you. 

How to budget better? Well, we’re not here to discuss the 50/30/20 rule, recommend any investments or ridicule you for buying necessities. We’ll focus on the smaller aspects, and the more doable changes you can make now. 

Wait at least 24 hours before making a major or frivolous purchase. You’re scrolling through your favorite store’s webpage and see the perfect item. Would you even have considered buying it if it didn’t appear in front of you right now? That’s what the 24-hour rule is for. It’ll give you time to think about whether you really need that item or not. Maybe every time you wait 24 hours, you still decide to buy the item afterwards, and that’s fine! But, it will still help to remove buyer’s remorse and bring a little mindfulness into your consumption habits. 

On top of waiting 24 hours, make sure you also don’t give in just because something is trendy or cool right now. You’re watching your favorite influencer and they recommend a product, or maybe it’s the viral video of a singular piece of clothing that everyone must have. It’s easy to get distracted by all the shiny new things we see on social media daily, but remember, you don’t always need it. But, if even after 24 hours you still really want it, then live your life!

Sleep, as much as our high school teachers may not have thought so, is essential. Getting the proper amount of sleep each night can help you stay healthier physically and mentally. How can you improve your sleep? Start with these simple steps:

We know life can be hectic, and doesn't always go according to plan. But, every night when getting in bed, try to create a similar routine. Whether it’s your end-of-day skincare, a great book, or putting on some mellow music and turning the lights down, try to create a routine. Your routine will notify your brain each night that it’s time to go to bed. 

Avoid caffeine in the afternoon (and evening)

Whether it’s coffee, tea, soda, or any other form of caffeine, put all of it down at least 7 hours before you go to bed. Even if you may not be feeling the effects of your caffeine intake at the end of the night, studies have shown that it can still affect your sleep. 

The quicker you turn off your phone screen before bed, the faster your brain will be able to turn off for the night too. For some people, this may be part of your pre-bedtime routine. We’ve all lost time endlessly scrolling through 5 second videos, not understanding how those 5 seconds turned into over an hour of your night gone. So, if you aren’t able to put down your phone screen before the nighttime routine begins, at least put it down a tad earlier than you usually would. 

And now we’ve reached the typical New Year’s resolution of exercising more. But, as said before, this isn’t a resolutions article, this is for betterment and simply making small improvements to your similar lifestyle – not changing what you’re all about entirely. Exercise doesn’t have to be sweating it out in a gym or following a Youtuber’s workouts. It can simply be taking a walk outside or even a few circles in your room. Just move and get your blood flowing. 

Why is moving your body every day important? Movement can aid in reducing stress, helping you think more clearly, giving you more energy, better sleep and just all around a better feeling or mood. You don’t need to block large times out of your day to move. Just do what you can with what you’ve got and if you find yourself needing a break from the stresses of everyday life, take a walk. 

You’ve likely been hearing this from your parents since you were a child, but there actually are benefits to going outside. You can read more about the vast benefits and studies behind them here. But, to sum it up for you, the key benefits to taking some time outside include physical and mental wellness, such as reducing stress and muscle tension, and providing a relaxing element overall. 

While you’re outside, maybe take the opportunity to practice gratitude or positive affirmations, or even call a friend and check in on how they’re feeling about the new year. 

And of course, the ultimate betterment you can have this 2023, is to start making your newest best friends and meeting new and interesting people! Friendship, socializing, and having people you can lean on is important, and what better way to make those new connections than on Yubo? 

New Year, Same You (But Better)

Oh, the holidays… full of joy, gifts, family reunions, tall tales, and quirky traditions. Before November is even over, stores begin to fill their shelves with Christmas-themed decorations overflowing with green and red ornaments, decor and trinkets. Whether or not you actually celebrate Christmas, you see it everywhere, and there is no escaping. While the first signs of Christmas can be exciting at the beginning, it can easily become too much. There are only so many times you want to hear Ariana Grande sing “Tell Me Santa”, and only so many Coca-Cola advertisement variations you can watch until they have the opposite effect. Perhaps you don’t even celebrate Christmas, maybe you celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus (for the rest of us), or have your own holiday tradition you follow. Whatever the case may be, the end of December is something some people look forward to, but for others, it can be a difficult or even lonely time.

Maybe you’re dreading that inevitable family photo coming up right when your face just broke out, and you are struggling with your confidence. Or maybe you are scared of getting stuck sitting next to your crazy aunt who kind of smells and won’t stop talking the entire dinner. Or perhaps you made a lot of personal growth in a certain direction that your family might not agree with. Maybe there is some bad blood that will likely unravel at dinner. Or did you make certain diet changes, like going vegan and already mentally preparing to explain to your grandparents how you are not malnourished? There is an endless list of real anxieties, big or small, people may feel leading up to the holidays. 

Contrary to how so many people feel, the holidays are always represented in an idealistic way – where a big, happy family comes together around a warm fireplace and a beautifully decorated tree to laugh together as they open presents. This image of the holidays can make you feel pressure for your Christmas to live up to an impossible standard when actually it’s completely unrealistic (and also shot in a movie studio). Many people even spend the holidays alone or working. Maybe they moved somewhere new, are the last of their family, are in a transitional period in life, or whatever their unique story might be; they might have to spend the holidays alone or just with their pets, even when deep down they would prefer not to. If you have the space and resources, and you know someone who might be spending the holidays alone this year, even just asking if they would want to spend it with you could really cheer up the holidays. The small act of extending an invitation can go a long way, after all, they can always say no.

Over time it seems that the holidays have made many people lose sight of what they are truly about. It has turned into a materialistic holiday that revolves around buying presents for others (and realistically yourself too). There are deals after deals after deals, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, end-of-the-year sales, you name it. It is important to remember that everyone comes from different circumstances. What is a lot for some is a little for others. It can absolutely be hard not to get a little jealous of the ridiculous gifts others might get. Especially with the internet, everyone is showing off the cool things they got, and there can be stark differences in the holiday gifts one person receives compared to another. Some get brand-new cars completely paid off, others might get an avocado (you remember the video). It can feel unfair, but that's when it’s important to look at the meaning behind the gift. Everyone is in drastically different financial situations with different financial responsibilities to uphold. So remember, it is not really about the gift itself, it's about the fact that someone went out of their way to give you something they think you would like, whether it is bought or made by hand with love. The action and intention itself is what is truly special. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind for the holidays is: you should only look at what others have to make sure they have enough. That is what the holidays are really about. Spreading cheer and being kind to one another.

It is truly that simple. We just tend to forget it because of all the holiday madness that goes on. Whatever stressors you have on your plate, just know it will be okay, it might even turn out to be fun! And remember, you never know what other people have going on, so please, be extra loving this holiday season. So whatever you are celebrating, the Yubo team wishes you a happy holiday season!

Oh the holidays… full of joy, gifts, family reunions, tall tales, and quirky traditions. Before November is even over, stores begin to fill their shelves with Christmas themed decorations overflowing with green and red ornaments, decor and trinkets. Whether or not you actually celebrate Christmas, you see it everywhere and there is no escaping. While the first signs of Christmas can be exciting at the beginning, it can easily become too much. Whatever the case may be, the end of December is something some people look forward to, but for others it can be a difficult or even lonely time.

Yubo's Take

Here for all of it.